Fowl (Vol. 1)

Chicken has been on my brain lately. This is weird because I don’t eat chicken (or any other meat). I have been thinking about chickens because I am noticing adult behavior around me that very much reminds me of two chicken-based children's stories: The Little Red Hen and Henny Penny. 

I stopped eating meat when I lived in Ireland (2000). That year there was an outbreak of Foot and Mouth disease. This meant cattle, sheep, pigs, goats, and deer were all catching this (gross) disease and spreading it. This is different from the Hand, Foot, and Mouth the kids are getting these days. It was such a major health concern that St. Patrick’s Day was canceled. St. Patrick’s Day was canceled. In Ireland. Devastating. Anyhow, to try and curb the spread, all entrances to campus buildings and shops had disinfectant filled mats we had to walk over to kill any germs on our shoes and cars drove over bigger versions. What does this have to do with my vegetarianism you ask? Well, one night on the news a doctor was being asked if humans could catch this pesky and blistery disease and he said, “we don’t think so.” WHAT? You don’t think so? That is not scientific at all. I had also just returned from ten days in Spain where all I ate was meat.* It was a perfect storm to put me off eating the animals. 

The Little Red Hen (I just googled “chicken vs. hen” because my brain is broken. Hens are adult lady chickens. They lay the eggs.) is a fable about the importance of taking initiative and working hard. One day a hen finds some wheat laying on the ground and decides she wants to make bread. Great idea. The thing is that there are several important steps between wheat and actual bread. The little red hen  first plants the wheat. She asks the other animals on the farm to help her but they offer a chorus of nos. Growing up my version read:

Not I, said the cow.

Not I, said the duck. 

Not I, said the goose.

Not I, said the pig. 

Next she has to water the wheat. She asks for help and again, hard passes from the rest of the animals. Once the wheat has grown, the Little Red Hen has to harvest it. She is hopeful that the other animals will be of some help this time. Nope. They are not interested. Finally, the Little Red Hen bakes the bread and asks if the other animals want to eat it. All of a sudden everyone is very interested in what is happening. They all want some of the bread. But the little Red Hen is not having this. She runs away with the bread and eats it all herself. Yes, queen! 

This story has been used in a lot of contexts. In 1976, Ronald Regan decided to rewrite it as an allegory of government regulation. You can listen to it if that’s your thing. According to the internet, it has also been used to satire capitalism, and as a pro-work socialist anthem. Damn everybody! Leave the Little Red Hen alone to bake her bread in peace.

Clearly, the moral of the story is that if you don’t contribute you don’t get to enjoy the results of the hard work others have invested. This is not an unfamiliar scenario to many of us. Responsible individuals are often put in positions where they have to take on most (or all) of the work in order to finish something and then the farm animals that didn’t contribute still want some freshly baked bread. They want to reap the benefits without the effort. They are free riders. They are everywhere. They suck. Free riders are something my students are often faced with. Many faculty assign group projects and without fail there is at least one team a semester trying to deal with the person who does absolutely nothing. My response has always been to tell them that this mirrors the real world and they have to figure it out. However, after reading more and thinking about it I am going to change my approach because it isn’t helpful. Yes, having the ability to manage difficult team members is a useful skill but should that be their job? Why should the people who contribute have to also do the work of trying to engage the free rider? Why do they have to solve a problem they didn’t create?** I looked for guidance on this and found awesome suggestions. I am going to implement some of them in my group projects and others are applicable at work because free riders are everywhere!

Qualitative peer feedback: Allow everyone a way to share what people are doing well and where they need to improve. I was looking around and it seems like there are a lot of online platforms that do this.

Options for students: PeerStudio, Peergrade, FeedbackFruits. I have not tried any yet but if you have and like one in particular let me know!

Options for work: Betterworks, CultureAmp, Officevibe.

I was wondering how anonymity plays into peer feedback and was happy to see some research on it. Generally speaking it sounds like anonymous feedback is the best way to go. 

Make individual inputs visible: Have people “claim” what they are doing and make sure everyone else knows. This way, if something is missing/terrible it is clear who was responsible for the work. 

Ensure that the groups are not too large: If there are a lot of people (especially without clear direction and unique roles) it is easier for free riders to “hide” and for their lack of contribution to be overlooked. 

Show what others are doing: The thought is that when free riders see how much less they are doing they will start to do more. I have to disagree with this one. I think most free riders know that they are free riding. They know what other people are doing, they just don’t want to do it. Maybe in some situations this will work but in my experience free riding is pretty purposeful. 

Some of these things will take a real shift in how we operate. Personally, I am not a fan of letting anything fall through the cracks (ever) so the idea of a project I am on not looking fantastic because someone else is slacking would slowly break me down as a person. But, in order to break the cycle of free riding, we have to be willing to let other people screw up knowing that we did our part. A crucial piece of this puzzle is accountability. If it is clear who was supposed to do what and the free rider faces no consequences; that creates a variety of problems:

Motivational problem: Why do all the work if the people who slack face no repercussions? Or worse yet, if the slackers are rewarded the same as the rest of the people who actually performed (i.e. everyone gets the same “merit” raise)? That is exceptionally demotivating to the actual contributors and signals to the free riders that they are doing just fine. 

Organizational culture problem: Not calling out bad behavior is a great way to create a toxic work environment. If companies aren’t addressing free riders, what else is being ignored? Turning a blind eye will not go unnoticed by employees. Their frustration will fester and that is hard to turn around. 

Communication problem: If someone on your team is free riding you have to say something. It’s a bummer to feel like you are tattling on an adult but if they don’t do the work, someone will have to and it might be you. 

Management problem: Leaders should be aware of the employees that aren’t pulling their weight. If they don’t see this it’s because they aren’t paying close enough attention, the free rider is also a bullshitter who convinces them how much they do, it just started happening, or no one has told them. 

Efficiency problem: Free riders slow down processes. This impacts the team’s ability to accomplish tasks which then costs the organization money. 

I was super interested to read that free riding actually increases the closer groups are to the end of a project. That’s no good! The thought is that everyone is pushing to meet the deadline so people may feel “entitled” to give themselves a little bit of a break. That is exceptionally annoying to the people doing the work and I think that annoyance sometimes leads to just sharing the bread we made. Letting everyone have a piece is easier than listening to the team members/farm animals bitch. We know they didn’t earn a piece. They know they didn’t earn a piece. But the difference is that they don’t care. They feel entitled to the bread for whatever reason (proximity to the bread making process?) and pitch a fit when they don’t get to reap the benefits of other’s work. Maybe quiet quitting is just free riding in a fancy new outfit. Who’s to say? 

This is the most time I have ever spent thinking about chicken and I am not done yet. The next blog is all about the story of Henny Penny. While I finish writing it I leave you with this list of the top 15 fancy chickens as well as this:

Just look at that marvelous chicken!!

*While there I went to the Caminito del Rey trail in Malaga. It had not yet been restored and was terrifying because parts of the path were straight up missing. In the nearby town we stopped for lunch and I didn’t remember the translation for one of the words on the menu. When I asked the waiter what it was he bleated at me. It was a goat (chivo). I ate it. Gross. 

**This is something that has really been annoying me lately. While I have been doing research about women at work it has become increasingly apparent that, in order for things to change, we have to make them happen. We did not cause these issues. We are impacted by these issues. Yet, we have to take our time and skills to help fix the issues. It’s bullshit. It feels like being the sober person cleaning up the barf from your drunk friend. You didn’t barf so why are you dealing with this? Because your friend is drunk. She is incapable of cleaning up without making an even bigger mess. So you step in, lay her down, take off her shoes, and force her to take Advil and drink some water even though she keeps yelling that she wants to eat PANCAKES and go back to the bar. I guess sometimes business organizations are like our drunk friends. 

Quicksand

Growing up quicksand was a big deal. The kids who grew up in the 80s were exposed to a lot of quicksand-related trauma as illustrated by this one minute montage and this article. If you have personally never been victimized by a serious fear of quicksand and are wondering what the hell I am talking about please listen to this excellent episode of Radiolab. They get it. The thing about quicksand that was always most scary to me was that the harder the person tried to extract themself, the further they sank. Quicksand disregards your efforts. Quicksand doesn't give a shit. Quicksand has you and it’s not letting go. Also, quicksand always looks kind of gloopy* and sticky and that, if you were able to get out it would be a real bitch to get off of your clothes and person. 

Quicksand popped into my brain the other day because I am a bit stuck. Not in actual quicksand (whew!) but I still don’t like how it feels. Here’s the deal. I have never been very excited to write because it was never really fun. I wrote essays in college** but those were on assigned topics with prescribed formats. I wrote a master’s thesis on a topic of my choosing, political corruption in Mexico (#lamordida), but was limited in how I wrote about it. Then I started doing academic writing in my PhD program and that was lame. I was limited in pretty much every way. Academic writing is formulaic, dry, and lacks an opportunity to swear or include photos; though I do enjoy a good footnote. Writing this blog is different. I enjoy it and I want to do it because I actually like it and not because I have to. The problem is I am running out of hours in the day. When I started doing this in August I promised myself two posts a week and I did that. Now it’s January. Classes are about to start again and sabbatical is over. In addition to my normal professor job I am still Department Chair, North American Editor of the Journal of Business Ethics Education, and a boatload of other things to other people so I am trying to be realistic (gross).  I want to do all of the things but I can’t and it’s bumming me out. I do not like feeling disappointed (I’m guessing nobody does) and am trying to get my head around how to let some things go in order to do all of the things I need to do. I started reading about how to deal with disappointment and found some great suggestions. First, we have to actually acknowledge it. 

I am in the valley of disappointment because I can’t spend all of my time writing fun things for the blog. 

Next, we have to accept things as they are. This is not easy. I will try:

I have a lot of obligations. Some are fun and some are not but I have to take care of them all. The blog is not an obligation but it is an outlet and I know that is also important. I will likely need to write less for fun in order to take care of everything but I am not willing to stop writing it altogether. 

To combat disappointment we can consider the opposite. Instead of letting it fester, flip it on its head. Take a look at this awesome wheel of emotions. The thought is that you may be able to counterbalance the disappointment with a feeling from the opposite side of the wheel. 

After acknowledging the disappointment (which falls under grief), instead of wallowing in it, you try on a little joy. What is making you happy right now? That doesn't eliminate feeling disappointed but it takes the edge off a bit. Here’s mine:

The other day a woman I have never met messaged me on IG to tell me she loved my blog and that it made her laugh. She found it because one of my friends who lives in the UK posted a link to it on a moms with PhDs Facebook group. That is amazing and random and how social media works and exactly why I am doing this in the first place. Knowing a woman somewhere read this and resonated with it; that’s all I want.

Speaking of joy, I started a new thing this year. Every day I write down one thing that brought me joy. I am never going to have a gratitude journal. I will never have any journal of any kind. But I can write two words a day about what made me happy. My thought was that, when things are feeling shitty, I can flip through all those little moments of joy and get back on track. 

I really like the idea that you are disappointed because you are passionate about something. I am. I am passionate about helping women (and myself in the process) extricate themselves from this shell game we are forced to operate in (#patriarchy). I am passionate about building my force field and helping other women do the same. I am passionate about women knowing they are not crazy; that all the “little” slights, comments, looks, and suggestions are happening, are not acceptable, and that there are solutions.  

I’m also learning that disappointment can lead to success (even HBR says so!) which isn’t something I had considered. I was so focused on the icky side of the feeling that I missed what comes next. What comes next for me is that I’m going to keep writing the blog when I can and I am going to move past the disappointment that I can’t dedicate more time to it right now. I have a long list of topics I want to write about and it keeps growing because insane things continue to happen in the world. I am looking at you Missouri House of Representatives. The success I am hoping for is that women continue to find the blog. That it helps women feel seen. That it leads to conversations that lead to connections that lead to me getting in front of even more women and that, together, we revolt. 

If you want to help me keep the blog rolling please share it far and wide + send me topics you think I should write about. I am not (yet) past feeling bummed out but I have a lot of joy too. I have new research in the works with fun co-authors that will allow me to remain a qualified Scholarly Academic (the blog does not count as “scholarly”). I have an air fryer. I made it into Dandayamana Janushirasana on several occasions recently and it would appear that feeling stuck in quicksand offers time to reflect in ways I don’t normally. Rather than what I would do normally (struggle!!!) I’m going to follow these actual suggestions for getting out of quicksand because most of them seem helpful for life in general. I’ll let you decide which ones work for you and if I see any of you walking around barefoot with your arms in the air I will know what’s up.

*Not goopy. I do not want to use any word that could possibly be confused with a mention of the brand name Goop. Gweneth Paltrow is a scammer. Goop’s “wellness” products are snake oil. $525 for a gray turtleneck sweater (G. Label by Goop) inspired by what Gweneth wants to wear is both a crime and eye-roll inducing. You can either get “luxury-grade investment pieces at direct-to-consumer price” (barf) or an equally cute sweater from Everlane ($100) where they ethically source materials and transparently share their costs and supply chain. Oof. That was a bit of a rant. Gwyneth really bugs me.

**I once took a summer class at the University of Pittsburgh on political history. I was not excited about that class. I didn’t proofread my first essay so I did not realize that my printer had not printed every other line. I turned it in. For my second essay I wrote about Karl Marx except I spelled Karl with a C!!! Carl Marx. That professor probably told his friends about me. I don’t know how I passed that class. I’m a professor now. Dream big kids!

Damp January

At the beginning of every year in recent history people have been posting about Dry January. It’s a pretty simple concept: no alcohol for the month. It started in 2006 and became a really big deal in the UK in 2013. Estimates are that 1 in 5 people participate in Dry January. It’s the start of a new year. A time to reflect and reset. For many, Dry January is an opportunity to reassess their relationship with alcohol. 

“It’s a kind of self-diagnosis of how important alcohol really is to you.” 

If it’s hard to go a few days or a week without a drink it’s an opportunity to ask why that is and decide what needs to change. The benefits are many. You will have more energy, and clarity. You will sleep better and possibly lose weight. You will not have hangovers. Your skin will glow. You will not drunk text. You will strengthen your immune system. All great things and nothing to sneeze at (that’s a really gross phrase in a COVID world). But as a researcher I do want to point out that there are a lot of other factors at play in January. It’s also usually when people try to focus on eating healthy, going to the gym, and just generally being a better version of themselves. This is often short lived; it lasts for about a month. Just like Dry January. See what I’m getting at? It’s hard to isolate not drinking as the one thing that drives all of these benefits. If Dry January works for you and helps you feel better I am thrilled. I am very much in favor of people doing whatever they want with their bodies (do you boo boo), but let’s consider two things I see as connected to Dry January. First, diet culture. This plague on society is (finally) being acknowledged for its toxicity. It “oppresses people who don't match up with its supposed picture of 'health’” and has caused so much damage. The majority of the impacts of diet culture are felt by women, femmes, trans folks, people in larger bodies, people of color, and people with disabilities according to dietician Christy Harrison a proponent of intuitive eating. I understand that Dry January is eliminating something that is thought to be all bad but I also understand that restriction isn’t necessarily the best answer. Second, Dry January creates pressure on people at a time when that is the last thing they need. We all just survived the holidays, often the most stressful time of the year for people. We are still in the midst of a global pandemic and the news is constant tragedy. If having a glass of wine is a thing someone is doing as a way to relax* they shouldn’t have to feel guilty** about it because it’s Dry January. So, if you are going to do Dry January could you, perhaps, make less of a thing about it? There seems to be an almost incessant need to let everyone know that you are doing Dry January. This might be a way for people to create their own accountability; if they tell people they are doing this they will be more likely to stick to it. To me it feels like a combination of people who are in training for a marathon and Lent. 

How do you know if someone runs marathons?

Don’t worry, they’ll freakin’ tell you!

Hey-oooo!

Running a marathon is a big thing. I get it. I will never, ever run a marathon because it sounds like absolute misery. But the joke hits. Never in the history of running marathons have people not told everyone they know they are running a marathon.

If you aren’t familiar with Lent, it is 40 days when Christians around the world (particularly those that are Anglican, Catholic, and Orthodox) prepare for Easter. They are supposed to pray and fast but as a kid who went to Catholic school the big deal was giving up something for Lent.  The idea is that we were supposed to sacrifice something and show self-discipline as a way to represent Jesus’ sacrifice but what really happened was that most kids gave up something that was not that big of a deal. And do you know how you knew they gave it up? Because they would tell you at every opportunity. Below are interactions I remember from 8th grade:

Oh you’re having chocolate? Not me. I gave it up for lent (#sopious). I have not idea what joke you are referencing from Saturday Live. I didn’t watch it this week. I gave it up for Lent, I’m very holy. Oh my goodness! Is that a french fry? No thank you. I am currently sacrificing.

Considering all of this, I have decided to participate in what I am calling: Damp January. I am drinking less (no more holiday break Thursday morning mimosas or third glass of wine because I don’t have to wake up to get Leo ready for school) but I am not holding myself to not drinking at all. Know why? Because I don’t want to. Sometimes the first sip of my expertly crafted absolutely filthy vodka martini is truly a balm for the soul and I am not willing to give that up. I also want to point out that a lot of the rise of Dry January is coming from a business push. The non-alcoholic industry is blowing up and making boat loads of cash. There is absolutely nothing wrong with profiting from encouraging healthy habits but know that many of the same companies promoting non-alcoholic drinks for Dry January will be waiting for it to end so that you buy their alcoholic drinks. 

At the end of the day my goal is for this to be a helpful place. If you want to give Dry January a whirl here are some curated options and the best places in San Diego for non-alcoholic drinks. If you want to do a Damp January but feel bad here are some benefits of alcohol and red wine. If you want to fight diet culture there are a lot of things you can do. If you want my filthy martini recipe here it is:

Splash of dry vermouth. 

Equal parts vodka (not from Russia) and this olive brine (trust extensive research was conducted).

Shake vigorously for at least 30 seconds (more if you want to count it as an arm workout). This creates teeny, tiny ice chips in the final drink.

Strain into a chilled glass. This used to be my favorite glass but I broke it because I am not fancy enough to have nice things. We now use these because they are unbreakable.

Garnish with bleu cheese stuffed olives (preferable not from a can) and several of any kind of these Serpis olives (not Goya). You can skewer the olives on these cocktail picks that I am looking for an excuse to buy or just use normal ones (try not to use the disposable ones-that’s just wasteful). If you don’t have cocktail picks or are just feeling extra classy, by all means drop the olives in there and fish them out with your fingers. The vodka will kill the germs. #science

Do what works for your and cheers to whatever kind of January you are doing!

*I’m setting aside the discussion that “needing” a glass of wine to relax could signal a problem. I am focusing on an individual wanting to have a glass not needing to drink to excess to feel ok. 
**Some people may read that and wonder why anyone would ever feel guilty about having a glass of wine when others aren’t. These people were most likely not raised in the Catholic Church.

Scrub

Do you enjoy being naked with strangers? Does having the top several layers of your skin removed sound like a good time? If not I would HIGHLY advise against visiting a jjimjilbang.

A jjimjilbang is a (gender segregated) Korean spa with hot tubs, saunas, interesting rooms, and relaxing spots to drink tea. There are several in San Diego. 

If you asked me these questions before I started my PhD program I would have made a mental note that you were clearly a voyeuristic masochist, but now this has become part of my annual, what I guess I could call, maintenance. A long time ago I decided that I wanted to start my year with a literal clean slate so when everyone heads back to the first day of work after the holidays I head to the jjimjilbang for a scrub and a massage. 

If this sounds appealing to you I want to offer some pointers. When you get there you put ALL of your stuff in a locker. You will be naked aside from your locker key. This is not optional. Next you take a shower before doing anything else. Will the shower be private? No, it will not. It will be in the same room with the hot tub and a number of other naked people. If you opt for a scrub you will lay on a table covered in plastic (it always gives me Dexter vibes) and bowls of water verging on boiling will be thrown on you. Then it gets real. A woman will start to scrub every inch of you and will remove any last shred of dead skin and dignity. You will be flipped over like an egg, told to lay on your side, and likely almost slip off of the table and onto the floor. Don’t worry. They will catch you (but they will also laugh at you). After you are possibly bleeding just a little but very smooth you will be told to shower (again). You head back to the table but now it is dry and there is a towel to lay on. Normal back massage stuff (normal = exceptionally firm pressure veering into pain at times) is followed by what can only be described as gentle-ish face slapping. It’s good for circulation! Then a thin piece of muslin is placed over your face (like a shroud but for alive people) and that is covered with a mystery mask of some kind. While that marinates the rest of you gets massaged and your hair is washed. This is not a gentle wash but it is certainly through. Hair rinsed, your shroud is peeled off and you are told to sit up. Your back is heartily clapped and then, then you are doused with milk. Surprised? So was I the first time I went!!! Why am I being covered in dairy?! Did I order this? Am I being filmed? Anyhoo you are then told to splash your face with milk (which you do because you are afraid to say no to this exceptionally strong woman) and sent on your way to enjoy the rest of the facilities at your leisure. Totally normal Tuesday morning.  

I started doing this way before we were talking about the importance of self-care. Something about parts of me from the previous year being physically removed always felt so good that I decided to purposely make it my own tradition. While sitting in the Himalayan Salt Sauna (pictured!) I started thinking about some of the other traditions and rituals I have that make me feel good. Three immediately popped into my head. 

Every evening I wash my face (obviously!). But it is a process. When I say “I’m going to wash my face” my family knows I will be gone for at least 15 minutes. I don’t know when this became so involved but I love it. I get a bit of time to myself, listen to a (murder) podcast, and turn off my brain. Ok so here’s the daily breakdown: Micellar water, cleanser applied with face brush, pat dry with towel and savor the moment, toner, serums (these vary day to day), moisturizer, gua sha, eye balm, and finish off with some lip balm. Very low key and not at all ridiculous. I have a working theory about why I do all of this. When I was younger I had terrible acne. It made me self-conscious and it was exceptionally frustrating because there was nothing much I could actually do about it except try to cover it which only made it look worse. I had to take antibiotics for years to finally get rid of it (sorry to you my gut biome!). So now I do many things in hopes of never having to deal with that again. I also think it’s an opportunity to momentarily escape what can sometimes be the most stressful time of the day (i.e. danger brain) while also ensuring my face doesn’t look like shoe leather (my ultimate goal in life). Sure I could splash water on my face and call it a day. That would save loads of time and money but that’s not the point. I do this routine because it makes me happy. It is relaxing. It smells good. And, according to research, routines are comforting and they are good for our mental health. So clearly this is a must. Please let me know if I am missing any crucial steps you enjoy. I am always up for new steps in the process!

Every Sunday I do my nails. To me there is something about having my nails done that makes me feel like I have my shit together even when I most certainly do not. I grew up in the era of Dynasty where the most sassy and powerful ladies always had amazing nails. Do you think Alexis Carrington would have been caught dead without a manicure? She would slap you for thinking such a thing. Also, I talk with my hands (a lot) and our hands are all about expression and emotions so having to glimpse undone nails makes me sad.

I usually use nail polish wraps (I am slightly obsessed) which are basically stickers* that come in a zillion prints and colors. Each week Leo is in charge of picking my wraps. He asks what I have to do that week to get a feel for what he thinks will work. Once I was doing a panel on women in business so he picked ones with dinosaurs because “ladies are strong like dinosaurs.” That kid ❤️

I was surprised to find articles linking manicures to improved mental health and the fact that the practice of adorning nails dates back to Cleopatra! I thought this was just sort of a frivolous thing I did but taking time to do or get your nails done is a way to reclaim some space in your life and an opportunity to check out for a bit.** Manicures are being used to empower women and the mere existence of the industry has dealt with classism, racial discrimination, politics, and human rights issues. So people can think this is silly and a waste of time but (to me and many others) it’s way more than surface. Surprisingly some students even notice. I’ve had students that check the weekly selection of color/pattern and my nails have been mentioned in my teaching evaluations. I once had a student ask if I was ok because he noticed my nails weren’t done (I was not ok. It was a bad week). That guy and his keen observation skills are going places! If you are still skeptical just try it once and see if you feel better!

I listen to Big Pimpin’ by Jay-Z on the way to work when I need to get my head right. I do not feel good about this. Much like Roxanne Gay, this makes me feel like a very bad feminist. The title alone is suspect and the lyrics are deplorable aside from when people are told to read a book (you illiterate son of of bitch). It’s misogynistic, borderline abusive, and generally gross. And yet… something about the beat and turning it way up helps me get ready for whatever is coming at me that day. Maybe the song is tied to some amazing memory and I don’t realize it. All I know is that it works and it has for a while because Big Pimpin’ was released in 2000 (OMFG). This song has clearly been cemented into my personal traditions but it is not one I will be sharing with Leo. There are other songs that I love and that make me feel great but they simply aren’t the same. Tons of research discusses the benefits of music in our lives and shows that music can relax the mind, energize the body, and even help people better manage pain. 

A 2010 study of 36,000 people around the world conducted by Adrian C. North of Heriot-Watt University found that people who liked certain genres of music tended to have high self-esteem. Specifically, fans of classical, pop, jazz, and—this may surprise some people—rap.

So maybe I’m onto something with Jay-Z when I need a confidence boost. Fortunately there are many other song suggestions that may work for you. If you want to add to or change your own rituals here are some options for things to do in the morning, things to do throughout your day, and things backed by science. if you’re looking for some new traditions you can draw from around the world. If you still really crave 90s rappers in your life but have a child may I suggest Doggyland? Snoop Dogg has come out with a children’s album. This is a real thing. I will leave you with the Affirmation Song so you and your kid can tackle whatever the day brings.

[Intro: Snoop Dogg]
Affirmations are a positive statements that help bust a challenge and overcome
When you not feeling good and have negative thoughts, so repeat after me, come on everyone

[Verse 1: Snoop Dogg & Doggyland]
There is no one better to beat than myself
There is no one better to beat than myself
Today is going to be an amazing day
Today is going to be an amazing day
My feelings matter
My feelings matter
I get better every single day
I get better every single day
I choose to feel happy
I choose to feel happy
My family loves me so much!
My family loves me so much!
I care about others
I care about others
I learn from my mistakes
I learn from my mistakes

[Hook]
Affirmations are fun and cool
They help us heal and they help us grow
If you love to learn and wanna keep feeling good, let's say some more
Follow me, let's go!

[Verse 2: October London & Doggyland]
I am responsible
I am responsible
I get better every single day
I get better every single day
I'm surrounded by love
I'm surrounded by love
Every problem has an answer
Every problem has an answer
I deserve to feel good
I deserve to feel good
Anything is possible
Anything is possible
I believe in myself
I believe in myself
I can control my own happiness
I can control my own happiness

[Outro: Snoop Dogg]
Now we know some new affirmations that we can choose, and learn to say
So next time you need a little inspiration to help you more have a positive day (positive day)
Affirmations
Affirmations (affirmations, affirmations, affirmations)

*In elementary school we had sticker albums! I had one that was pink and puffy and I once left it at my friend’s house on the picnic table outside and it rained. It was a true tragedy. Some stickers were scratch and sniff, some were fuzzy, some had googly eyes. All were amazing. Before Pokemon cards there were sticker albums. After sticker albums there were the Garbage Pail Kids. It was the 80s. It was a weird time. I had this sticker →

**Unless you are one of those people who talk on their cell the entire time they get their nails done, in which case you are a monster. If you have the other person on speaker or FaceTime I have no words for you. Just contempt.  

Chit Chat(GPT)

The computers are coming for us! We have known that for a while but understanding how and where these new technologies will impact our lives and jobs can be tricky. I know that academics are often mocked for being out of touch. We are just up in our ivory tower, wearing our elbow patches, talking about stuff no one cares about, and stroking our beards (I identify with about ¾ of these things. I will let you decide which ones). But (most of us) adapt quickly to things happening beyond our office doors. Technology in the classroom is one place we really need to stay up to date. It makes our lives easier and if we don’t, the students will hammer us in our evaluations, we will  never catch when cheating happens, and we will be mercilessly mocked (mostly behind our backs) for using outdated stuff.* The newest technology we need to get our brains around is ChatGPT. When I first heard about it I was interested. Then the holidays happened and the only thing I was interested in was cheese. But yesterday the incomparable Dr. Ray Jones** posted about it on LinkedIn and got me thinking again. From what I can tell, the initial reaction from educators to this new Artificial Intelligence (AI) was panic. Learning is over! The essay as we know it is dead! Homework is no longer an option! Society will collapse! I wanted to see what all of the fuss was about so I asked ChatGPT to help me solve a problem I often encounter:

Pretty good stuff!! I totally understand the panic about the efficacy of AI like this from the perspective of educators-especially at the middle and high school levels. We need students at those stages to learn how to communicate and how to think. If they use ChatGPT for everything they will stunt their academic abilities and that could be disastrous. But college students? To me that is a different situation. I have been teaching this population of students for a considerable amount of time and I think I have some perspective. 

When I first started teaching I gave multiple choice and essays tests in class based solely on the book. Embarrassing. All those tests did was ask students to memorize and regurgitate. Very low levels of Bloom’s Taxonomy of me. As I got more confident in teaching the material I moved to strictly essay-based in class exams. Better. These required some critical thinking and the amalgamation of course concepts. Students combined what they learned from the book with examples in the real world. In theory these were great and they are definitely standard practice. However, when you have three sections of 35 students writing 7-10 pages worth of essays several times a semester and no teaching assistants it becomes a bit challenging to do anything beyond constantly grading (and teaching is only one THIRD of my job). Then I had a crazy year where I decided that complete Project Based Learning (PBL) was the way to go. That was truly insane. It allowed students to explore class concepts through a variety of avenues; all of which were different and none of which had a standardized grading approach. I knew that was not sustainable so I borrowed the PBL concept of learning by doing with real-world problems and tweaked it. I also stopped using a textbook. Apologies to all of my textbook writing friends. I know they work exceptionally well in certain courses but for a class like Business & Society I think it is crucial to read about things happening right now in the world so that students see the links to reality beyond the theory. Textbooks can’t keep up. By the time the “newest” edition is out it’s out of date. No matter what I needed to supplement the text so I decided to just put together my own readings from online sources. This means that they are FREE. The cost of textbooks is insane and not all of them have a cheaper online version available. Requiring a $150+ book for a class feels like a barrier to entry (or at least to success) if all of our students don’t have the same means. This approach eliminates the problem. Students only need access to a computer or smartphone to get their class materials. Please note, this shift does not mean all of the students read. If anyone figures out the silver bullet for that, hit me up!

The changes I’ve made to my class mean that there are no exams. There are presentations, fact finding missions, discussions, and short (very specific) essays. So, generally speaking, ChatGPT is not a real concern for me in my classes. Not just because of the lack of essays but because Chat GPT isn’t the first time students could get answers without doing the work. Essays and analyses for purchase have been around since the dawn of the internet. A personal favorite are the many options students have to purchase the “answers” to a case study I wrote titled: The Ultimate Fighting Championship and Cultural Viability. You can buy an MBA level Marketing analysis ($39.99+ depending on your timeline), a case solution (free), or a case analysis (unclear cost). I was shocked when I happened upon these but also a little flattered. My point is that there have always been ways for students to skirt actual learning if they want to. No matter how good of a teacher you are, if a student is disinterested in the material, pressed for time, being forced to take college classes, or whatever reason they give themselves to not do the work they will find a way to get the answers and get through the class. Will they learn anything? No. Do they care? Also, no. This does not make sense to my education loving and frugal brain. Why spend so much on tuition only to have someone else do the work? Maybe the students don’t see the value in what we are teaching. Maybe that’s on us. I know that when students outsource their work (cheat) they aren’t learning anything. I also know that they are adults. If they want to coast through college not actually gaining useful career skills or new perspectives that’s their right (as long as they are paying their tuition). I wish they cared. I want to send prepared and professional students out into the world and that is much more difficult when this is their approach to education. 

Interestingly, often the students who don’t actually do the readings and could care less about the class in general love to participate in discussions! I find that some of the least prepared students are the ones who speak the most in class. It is low-key infuriating. They don’t do the readings or the work but they have a lot of things to say. All of the time. In every class. I call them over-participators. In grad school my advisor used something in his class called the Rule of Three to help manage this situation. He told students that if they had participated three times that day they were good; it was time to let someone else say something. However, if they had not participated in the last three classes it was time to jump in because your lack of engagement is going to start harming your grade. I have had to tell students that they have “had their three” for the day on many occasions. I have also had to straight up tell students that I am no longer calling on them. Participation is not the same as contribution. 

So what can we do about ChatGPT? I think we can harness its usefulness while acknowledging that it isn’t the same as a person. It’s close but no cigar. As educators, we will have to explicitly state in our syllabi and in class and over and over again that using ChatGPT generated answers is cheating and, hence, not allowed. That it is a violation of academic integrity and grounds for (insert bad thing here). That should take care of it! I’m kidding. Students will still use it to craft answers but the firm that created ChatGPT knows that. They are trying to help universities combat what is being called AIgiarism. ChatGPT is “watermarking” its responses as a way to help detect cheating with the AI and they have created GPT-2 Output Detector Demo where you can drop in the text to have it checked. 

I am going to encourage students to use ChatGPT for (ethical) fun. As a way to generate ideas, ask questions, and get recommendations while understanding that due diligence and fact checking are still necessary. I want to focus on the benefits and on how to use it and still be a good person/student. ChatGPT output isn’t perfect. Maybe it will be in the future. For now it’s a solid B+ student with great suggestions for how to deal with annoying over-emailers.  

* When I started at USD there were still a handful of people using overhead projectors. Not document cameras. OVERHEAD PROJECTORS. With transparencies. Yikes.

**Ray Jones was my TA when I took Business, Government and Society during my short-lived tenure as a Finance (hahahah!) major at the University of Pittsburgh. He was spectacular in every way. I went on to TA that same class at Pitt after my Master’s. I now teach the USD version of that class. This is not a coincidence. Ray is an inspiration. He once stood on a desk during class. I don’t even remember why but it was awesome. I have yet to stand on a desk. Thank you Ray! ☺️

Resolve

Well. We made it. It’s 2023 and do you know what that means? Do you??! Can you tell me because I honestly have no idea. I know it means we have all survived another year of absolute fuckery. I also know that at some point over the last twelve months people have started to refer to the year I was born as having happened in the “nineteen hundreds” which is exceptionally offensive though technically true. Beyond these things I feel like the only other thing this particular week of the year means is that we are supposed to set resolutions for the shiny new year ahead. Usually my resolutions don’t actually matter to my life in the greater scheme of things. In fact, I can’t even remember what I resolved to do this year if that is any indication of how little they mean. So heading into 2023 I decided to take a different approach. I’m not really making a resolution. I am not adding anything to my list that I need to learn or do or change. Instead I am resolving to do less. To focus on me. So in essence, I guess I am my own resolution? I swear I have not completely lost the plot. I have just had a bit of extra time (#sabbatical) to think about what is genuinely important to me and it turns out that protecting myself, my time, and my energy is what I want most. Maybe it’s because I have been thinking so much about tightroping, maybe it’s all the yoga, maybe it’s the therapy. Whatever it is, I am going to work on creating a bullshit deflecting force field around myself. 

Did you know that we actually have a force field around our bodies? It’s (neuro)science and it’s bonkers. Also, I still haven’t decided exactly what kind of force field I need. Should it be like the one in the Hunger Games? More like the one in Star Wars? I’ll need to work on this. Suggestions welcome. 

I have already started and would say that what I have now is more a bubble than a force field. Sometimes it works and whatever the annoying thing is,* I can just pause, take a breath and move on; no big deal. Other times the bullshit is just too strong and it pops that bubble so I fixate on the thing and give it far more attention than it deserves. I need to move to a place of virtual un-popability; hence the force field metaphor. I know that creating this barrier will take work and that no matter how hard I try there are still situations and people that will really test me. I have decided that am ok with this for several reasons:

Nothing is constant. I’m not trying to get all Eckhart Tolle on you here. I just mean that nothing works all of the time. Some things are going to make it through the force field no matter how hard I try so I need to accept (not necessarily like) it and move on.

I have choices. This simple phrase is one of the most memorable and useful things I have learned in therapy lately. You may read that and think “of course you have choices, dummy!” and you’re right. But I often don’t pause to remember that so I simply react. I let my brain gremlins (can I trademark that?) get the better of me. Over the last few weeks I have been reminding myself that I choose how I react, when I react, if I react (and a lot of other things) and I am finding it is making a difference. So I have that in my back pocket and it’s awesome. 

In a similar vein, I have choices for the ways I work. I know that I am exceptionally conscientious and competent. I also know that other people are not and they could care less. I have observed enough times that the most incompetent blowhards float through life missing deadlines, shirking their duties, playing the fool, and thinking only of themselves with little to absolutely zero consequences so why am I constantly busting my (competent) ass? I’m not saying I am going to quietly quit but I am saying that tasks and people outside of those I deem truly important to me don’t actually deserve 100% of my effort. 

“Competence is wearying. It tricks me by funneling my time into “useful pursuits” rather than “frivolous amusements.”

I want more frivolous amusements! I don’t want to get better at things that are “useful.” I want to not be stressed out all of the time. I want more joy. I want more sourdough bread. I want more champagne for absolutely no reason other than I am alive. These are all attainable things and they definitely fit inside of the force field. 

Kick ass women who shall remain nameless but are pure fucking magic. This small but mighty group gives me courage, love, hard truths, and memes. What more could one ask for?

So I guess what I’m saying is consider this my notice. I’m entering my Summer of George. I will no longer be at the beck and call of people who do not actually value my time or my personhood (Leo aside 😂). I will not be bending over backwards to accommodate the needs and desires of people who are unable to recognize the world beyond themselves. I will do my job and I will do it well but I will not allow it to consume me. Will I feel guilty about not going above and beyond? Probably! But a lot of research shows that this guilt is unnecessary and misplaced. My job is not my entire life and I am not my productivity so I am going to spend this year channeling the vibe of this song.* 2023 is me for me (sipping Topo Chico) and building that  forcefield. 

*The fifth email in the same day from the same person harping on some inconsequential minutiae (just an example of course…).

**The Tightroping playlist on Spotify just keeps getting better!