Chunky love
I just opened a jar of peanut butter, realized it was chunky and actually said “Oh, FUCK* yeah!” out loud. Is it ridiculous to be this excited about something so mundane? I don’t think so. If something so small makes you happy why not embrace it? There is a lot of research out there that shows that appreciation or gratitude (even for the small things) leads to greater overall satisfaction with life, improved mental health, and a bunch of other useful stuff. The consensus is that we should write down what we are grateful for. This way, rather than just being forced to talk about what you are thankful for at the Thanksgiving table it becomes part of your daily routine.
I do not want to do that.
The idea of adding anything to a daily routine is a hard pass for me. When people say they wake up, journal, meditate, and do some stretching all before their first coffee I have thoughts. I assume either they live alone and have no kids, or they wake up at 4.30 to fit all this into their day, or they are a zillionaire with no job. I do not fall into any of these categories so I looked for other options and I found some great suggestions.
These aren’t hard to do. Asking someone what’s awesome in their life is a pretty great way to bring gratitude into normal conversations without being over the top. Genuinely thanking someone for their efforts isn’t hard and it makes people so happy to know that you see them. Speaking of being happy, it turns out that the best way to make yourself happy is to do stuff for other people. From what I can tell, a big component of gratitude is just getting out of your own head and actually paying attention to the people and things around. I can do that.
* I was going to change this to “hell” because I was worried that people may not like swearing but then I remembered the ENTIRE POINT OF WHAT I AM TRYING TO DO!! Not going to tightrope my own damn website.
I ❤ a plan
Anyone who knows me knows that I love a plan. If that plan can come with a list and/or bullet points even better! It only makes sense that I have some sort of plan for my sabbatical and I do: write a book. Unfortunately, that is a terrible plan.
Maybe some people just sit down and write a book. I am not them. The idea of an entire book is overwhelming to me so I’m going to approach it in manageable pieces using what we know from academic studies on goal setting. There is a lot out there about what works and what does not but I like the ideas around SMART goals. This seems useful and breaks “write a book” down into actionable steps. These are my sabbatical SMART goals:
SPECIFIC
Weekly or bi-weekly blog posts on academically-adjacent ideas about the invisible burdens on women @ work and tightroping
Monthly blog posts where I rant about how Sheryl Sandberg sold us all a lie and that leaning in is a bunch of bullshit and/or stories about my son
Six or seven completed book chapters
An additional dog
A book contract with an actual company so that I don’t have to make hard copies of what I write to give as gifts
MEASURABLE
Either I wrote things or I didn’t. I can count the number of dogs living with us (currently one).
ATTAINABLE
These do not seem impossible. Though the whole book is more of a stretch goal, I am feeling good about making these things happen. With the caveat that the dog will happen when it happens but over sabbatical seems like a great time for an additional dog friend.
RELEVANT
These are all relevant to my overall desire to get what I have in my brain out to the world.
TIMELY
I only have a semester to make a lot of progress. I am very much hoping to accomplish* all of these things in that timeframe.
So, that’s the plan.
*Normally I would write that I “will accomplish” these things but I am trying to give myself some slack. I read an article the other day saying that people who set really high goals for themselves are often perfectionists so when they fall short of those goals, even by a little, they tend feel bad and are unable to acknowledge all the progress they made. That hit home. Also, I am imposing these goals on myself. If I don’t accomplish every last thing that is ok (I keep telling myself). So this is me trying to be laid back about getting things done. I am not laid back. Ever. This is hard.
Sabbatical blogger?
In about two weeks, my sabbatical starts. If you don’t hang out with professors this concept is likely completely bananas to you. Even if you do hang out with us it’s still kind of nuts. Every seven years I can take one semester (full pay) or a whole year off (1/2 pay and impossible to do with SD mortgages) from teaching to do something. That something is pretty loosey-goosey. Some professors move abroad, others create new courses or work on a time-consuming project. I got pregnant on my first sabbatical so it was productive (because I made a human) but not in an academic sense (because I felt like trash most of the time). This time I am going to write (and absolutely not get pregnant).
Unfortunately, graduate school only trained me how to do one kind of writing- the kind that leads to publications in academic journals. Have you ever read an academic journal article? No? Well let me remedy that! Here is a link to my latest peer-reviewed academic article. I’ll wait…
On a scale from 1-10 how dry would you rate the content of that article? Over a 7? Wrong! That’s a pretty sexy little article. We* threw in some current events, brought up Chick-fil-A’s political leanings (#bigotchicken), and explained where companies can go wrong with their corporate social responsibility efforts. That is all very exciting in academic terms but that’s not what I want to write.
I want to write funny, snarky things that people like and that are useful. I want to write the kind of stuff that makes you accidentally snort and then have to pretend it was a sneeze so you don’t look bonkers in public. I want to write the kind of stuff that women take a screenshot of and text to their friends because they find it so relevant. Only problem is that I am not entirely sure how to do that kind of writing. So I’m going start here and see what happens.
*please note my co-authors Ed and Tej are amazing scholars and delightful gentlemen to boot! They put up with my shenanigans and allow me to make asinine comments in our shared docs and I appreciate that.