Happy Holidays to everyone but Elon Musk
If you like Elon Musk* you’re going to want to just stop reading here. I am not a fan. I have a very long list of why but the gist is that he is a misogynistic, hateful, bigoted, and dangerous man baby. His (generational) wealth and platform have allowed him to create a persona idolized by dude-bros who love crypto and Joe Rogan. His approach to business is unethical at best and his willingness to support and publicize general misinformation is troubling. If any woman in power acted like he does she would be burned at the stake, but because he acts a fool he is labeled a “creative genius” (a la Kayne West) and a “maverick” (gross). He could use his fortune to truly make the world a better place but instead spends it on trips to outer space and toys he buys just to break (#twitter). He is everything I try and counterbalance in my courses and I can only hope that his own hubris leads to his demise. To further convey my distaste, and in the holiday spirit, I have rewritten the lyrics to You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch. Please enjoy.
You’re a mean one, Mr. Musk.
You really are so lame.
You treat employees like trash, disregard common decency for fame, Mr. Musk.
You're a man with a god complex who should really hang his head in shame!
You're a monster, Mr. Musk.
You’ve made Twitter even worse.
You allow hate speech on the platform and on society you are a curse, Mr. Musk.
You’re even less appealing than getting picked up by Joe Rogan in a fancy hearse!!
You're a vile one, Mr. Musk.
You lack any moral guide.
I hope your employees rise up, and that everyone takes their side, Mr. Musk.
I wonder how it feels to wake up every single day with zero self-awareness and completely dead inside?
You're a foul one, Mr. Musk.
Were you a woman they’d say you’re a bitch
. Your attitude is inexcusable but you still got really rich, Mr. Musk. I hope all of your escapades (that lead to many children out of wedlock which again a woman would be thrown to the wolves for) give you something that makes you itch!!
You're a rotter, Mr. Musk. Y
ou’re as appealing as a wart.
You want to be a space man, you’re a truly icky sort, Mr. Musk.
You think increasing the birth rate is a good idea even though the planet is dying from rich people like you who use too many resources for sport!!
You nauseate me, Mr. Musk.
You really make me want to kvetch.
You’re a misogynistic blowhard whose actions are rather sketch, Mr. Musk.
You're part of the reason loads of people thought that covid wasn’t real and the vaccine was dangerous you absolute wretch!!!
You’re a jackass, Mr. Musk.
You really are fun to bash.
So many people idolize you because of all your cash, Mr. Musk.
If you were the last man on earth I would run away to avoid your foolishness and having to hear about crypto and Mars and I would do it in a flashhhhh!!!
You’re a liar, Mr. Musk.
You extoll Twitter as a place for free speech. But suspend reporters who criticize you as a leach, Mr. Musk. You’re as appealing as a several weeks old, smushy, dirty, decomposing, completely rotten peach!!
Happiest of holidays to all (even if you like Elon). Thank you for reading this little blog! Here is to a happy and healthy 2023.
*I know he has donated $ to places. I also know that he is smart. I am not debating these things, but neither of them makes him a good person. They make him a person who knows how to get tax breaks. Yes, more money to good things is great but that (as far as I am concerned) does not negate the damage he has done.
It’s oh so quiet*
Well friends, it was bound to happen. More things are happening “quietly” at work. This time it’s quiet promotions. That sounds like a good thing but IT IS NOT. Like all of its quiet predecessors (quitting, firing, more quitting) this practice is a reflection of the general state of the world: it’s shitty. A quiet promotion is when you are given more work and responsibility for absolutely zero additional compensation and probably not even a title change and it is happening a lot. This isn’t anything new. It’s just another catchy rebrand of an existing practice. Employees have been offered promotions without raises since forever. The shift is that Great Resignation, people quietly quitting, and generally overworked and burned out employees are making it far more prevalent. If I were to guess, I would say a great many of you reading this (are there even a “many” people reading this?!) have been quietly promoted.
When I first read about this I thought of a story a friend from my PhD program told me. Before going back to school he was working in a Silicon Valley startup that was floundering. People around him kept getting let go and he kept being given their jobs (in addition to his). He said he knew it was time to quit when he had three desktop monitors; one for each of the full time jobs he had at the company. He was not paid more for any of these additional jobs. All that new work was just him being a “team player.” This is a prime example of how being a team player in situations like this is a scam.
Sure, there are times where we may need to pitch in a little extra and suck it up for a limited amount of time. That is understandable, especially as so many businesses are facing employee shortages. However, quiet promotions are not a long-term solution to whatever issues an organization is facing. Continuous asks of your time and skills for zero extra compensation simply isn’t ok. In fact, I’d go so far to say it’s unethical. One of the key tenets of the social contracts between employees and employers is that fair compensation should be offered in exchange for work being done. I won’t get into what is fair or who determines that here because that’s enough for five more blog posts.** Of course there are always exceptions but generally speaking: you go to work, you do what you are supposed to, you get paid the salary that was agreed upon when you were hired, your salary increases over time and with additional responsibilities.
A quiet promotion is not a badge of honor. It’s extra work being given to you because people assume you will do it with little complaint and (likely) do it well because that’s the kind of person you are. I think this ties into something I have had many conversations about, the “curse of competence.” When you are a competent employee you tend to consistently get asked to do more (often with the same resources or even less). You become the default for tasks that don’t technically fall into your job description but that others know you will complete. Why? Because you’re a team player! You are also likely a people-pleasing sucker who is afraid to say no to these extra responsibilities because (you think) it may negatively affect you at some point in the future. Many of these “competent” people are women. Want to guess why? Because we spend so much extra damn time going above and beyond in order to be given the same amount of compensation/recognition as our male peers that we are easy targets for quiet promotion. We are given more work because it is expected that we won’t complain, we will just get it done. Personally, I get it done because I care. Even when I don’t want to, I do. I don’t want to feel like I have let people down or dropped the ball and I like where I work. Unfortunately that “liking” can be an Achilles heel. Years ago there was a job posted at another San Diego university in exactly what I do. I felt weird about checking it out and called my PhD advisor for advice. I told him I felt bad (#Catholicguilt) even thinking about applying and his response has always stuck with me. He said,
If you could be replaced by someone as good as you for less money they would do it and not feel bad in the least.
That stung but it is true. Organizations do not care about people. Organizations are not real. In the (2003) documentary The Corporation they asked people on the street what kind of person certain brands would be and one woman said, “General Motors is a kind old man.” I’m sure there is at least one kind old man working at GM but, at the end of the day, GM exists to make a profit. They are currently doing so through some enlightened rhetoric on their website but let’s not kid ourselves about what their purpose really is.
So what do we do about quiet promotions? The organization is the problem here so we need to highlight where things are going wrong to those creating the quiet promotions. Here are some suggestions I found:
Keep a spreadsheet. How are you actually spending your time? What are you doing that is inside and what is outside of your job description? Seeing this laid out makes it harder to discount. A side by side of your job description and current duties can be a powerful tool to highlight what you are actually doing.
Assess the situation. What have you taken on and why? The spreadsheet will help with this! Ask yourself if this additional work is taking you in a direction that you want to grow your career or are you just doing the crap no one else wants to do?
Figure out what you want. Are you willing to do the extra work for a limited time? What is reasonable? Can you get that commitment in writing? If you are willing to stick it out for the time being, can you time your request properly and parlay this quiet promotion into an actual promotion?
Create an exit strategy if it just isn’t going to work anymore. Don’t just quit! You have bills to pay!!
All of the above suggestions put the responsibility for trying to fix the situation on the employee but what can organizational leaders do? First, they can recognize that they are burning their employees the hell out and then actually do something about it. Here are the signs:
Unfair treatment at work
Unmanageable workload
Lack of role clarity
Lack of communication and support from their manager
Unreasonable time pressure
Companies are spending so much money investing in employee mental health and well-being (which is wonderful) but they aren’t addressing the underlying issues. I was surprised to see that one of the key drivers of burnout is a toxic work environment but boy does that make sense! Toxic environments just wear you down so adding that feeling of being ground down with more work and no additional pay and you have a lot of very unhappy employees. To manage this there are some pretty straightforward ideas.
Recognize the work that your employees are doing. This goes a long way. Explaining that you see what they are doing, that you understand that it is more than normal, and that you are trying to fix it makes a difference (this is assuming you are actually trying to fix it). Remember, they are people!!
Talk to your employees. Yes, have an actual conversation. Face-to-face if possible. Ask them what they want and truly LISTEN to what they are saying. Would a half day off be more valuable to them than a holiday party? Could a more flexible schedule help mitigate their burnout a bit? Don’t dismiss their ideas.
Look up the chain. Have you been quietly promoted too? Are you passing along work because you have too much on your plate? Time for some real talk with your boss.
After thinking about and writing about all of the quiet stuff, I think it’s time for a new social contract at work. Employers are owed what you are paid for. They are not owed your evenings, your weekends, or your vacations. Your promotions should be loud celebrations not sneaky additional tasks. I know (I really, personally, truly know) how hard it is to push back on requests from people at work so help myself do better I have been watching videos of the general differences in saying no at work. I need to work on my Gen X vibes. Maybe I’ll go put on my overalls and rewatch My So Called Life as a start (Jordan Catalano + Buffalo Tom = ❤️).
*That’s the title to a fantastic and chaotic Bjork song that is pretty darn great. This is the link if you would like to put it in your ear holes.
**What I will say is that minimum wage ≠ living wage. The fact that the last time Congress voted to increase the Federal Minimum Wage (currently $7.25/hour) was over THIRTEEN years ago but they have voted for pay raises (cost of living they say!!) for themselves every year is a crime. Last time I checked, the cost of living increases impact everyone and not just out of touch elected officials.
TRICKS but no treats
The other day an article appeared in my feed about a woman who “raised two successful CEOs and a doctor” and her thoughts on parenting. I’m down for a parenting article every now and then so I clicked. It was written by Esther Wojcicki who is a journalist, educator, and author of a book titled How to Raise Successful People. Her daughters are the CEO of YouTube, the CEO of 23andMe, and a Berkeley educated epidemiologist with a PhD in anthropology from UCLA, an Undergraduate from Stanford, and Fulbright recipient. That last one wasn't a mistake. Her third daughter is all of that. These are three insanely successful women. Having one of these women in your family would be amazing but all of them? Imagine holiday dinners! Who do you think Esther likes best? I feel like Susan at YouTube is at a disadvantage here. The other two sisters are sequencing our genes to tell us what % neanderthal we are* and studying the impacts of obesity in high-risk populations
Esther’s book is all about what you should do as a parent to raise kids that are resilient, respectful, and self-driven. I like it! Definitely components that lead to success. She uses the acronym TRICK (trust, respect, independence, collaboration, kindness) to lay out her approach, but I think she forgot a letter. “S” for serious privilege. These women who became CEOs and PhDs grew up in a home where their dad was Professor of Physics at Stanford with an undergraduate degree from Harvard. Their mom went to Berkeley for her undergraduate, teaching credential, and Master’s in journalism. She also has an M.A. in educational technology, and earned an M.A. in French and French history from the Sorbonne in Paris. The Sorbonne for goodness sakes! These two people are brilliant!!! They combined their insanely intelligent genes and made babies with an immediate leg up on the rest of the world. No one can fault the Wojcicki sisters for where they were born or what their parents did for a living, that is all pure luck. The issue for me is the idea that if you use Esther’s TRICK your kids are bound to be successful. That’s simply not the case. Esther’s daughters were set up for success for reasons that go far beyond TRICK (though I’m sure it helped). Straight out of the gates (so to speak) they came into the world with a great many advantages. This was their reality:
Women (JK!!! That’s not an advantage!)
Exceptionally educated parents with thriving careers and an impressive network
In addition to those things, they also had access to the very basic necessities to thrive and become successful:
Healthy food
Consistent shelter
No threats of violence
A support system
Healthcare
Access to any education
Esther’s kids did not have to worry about that second list and that is a massive advantage. They may not have noticed it, and many of us are immune to it too, but without all the things on that second list your likelihood of being successful is very slim. One in six kids in the United States lives below the poverty line (poverty according to the U.S. Government = $26,500 for a family of four). One in every thirty kids in the U.S. is homeless. One in every fifteen kids are exposed to intimate partner violence. Every kid needs a squad, someone in their corner, an adult who cares for and about them (#framily), but not all kids get that. Without a support system, who is going to get them health insurance? And who is going to make sure they go to school (especially during a pandemic)? You can’t learn when you are hungry, or tired, or living in fear so the kids who don’t grow up with all of the things on the second list are immediately behind those that do. Many of these kids have the same potential as the Wojcicki sisters but without that serious privilege things don’t play out quite the same. Pretending that socioeconomic, race, and other factors are irrelevant ignores the reality of the situation. We can’t talk about success without also talking about equity.
Let’s take the example of access to a college education. We know there are measurable benefits to completing college. It opens the door to better paying jobs with opportunities for advancement, it provides access to a network of alumni who may hire you, it (in theory) teaches you how to think critically and fend for yourself. These are all exceptionally useful things but college isn't an option for many Americans. In fact, the majority of people ages 18-24 in America do not attend college and that number will continue to increase as tuition rates rise. But cost is not the only barrier to college. When your parents didn’t go to college you are less likely to enroll in challenging courses in high school. When you don’t take those challenging AP classes in high school (because the ability to offer them is impacted by your school’s budget) your chances of getting into college are impacted. Then there are racial and ethnic disparities in the admissions process (especially at elite schools) that are also a massive issue. With all of these hurdles before even starting college it’s clear where and why serious privilege comes in handy.
Raising kids with trust, respect, independence, collaboration, and kindness is amazing. Let’s also add the ability to recognize the barriers in place for those without advantages like the Wojcicki sisters and a desire to do something about it as part of what it means to raise a successful person.
*Less than 2% which is apparently 80% MORE neanderthal than all of the other people using 23andMe. I have a lot of questions.
