Quiet trend setter

This all things quiet trend is too much! Now that quiet quitting has run its course, people are talking about quiet firing. I find this newest iteration equally annoying. Quiet firing is when a supervisor is generally unsupportive on purpose. They are passive aggressive or not giving an employee a promotion or pay increase with little to no justification. That is a terrible way to operate and a surefire way to create a nightmare of a corporate culture. It isn’t clear if the quiet quitting leads to the quiet firing or vice versa but it all makes me want to quiet scream. 

You know what this all reminds me of? My dating life in college. I was one of those people who would mentally break up with someone but not want to have the actual conversation. Instead I would ignore calls and messages (left on my answering machine that sat on my kitchen counter!!!), cancel dates, or just start dating other people.* My theory was that whoever I was dating would get sick of this behavior and eventually break up with me to save me the effort. I was quiet firing people way before it was a thing. But that approach was nothing to be proud of. It was wholly immature, dragged things out unnecessarily and created confusion and hard feelings that likely could have been avoided. It also led to some very awkward interactions while I was bartending.**

Canceled dates = canceled check-in meetings or 1-on-1s

Waiting to get broken up with = waiting for employee to quit

Ignoring calls = unwilling to provide direct feedback

Move on to someone else = give attention to employees with more “potential” 

Actual quiet firing is worse though because it’s happening at work and can impact people’s livelihoods. If employees are underperforming, TELL THEM. If you are not happy with what they are producing, TELL THEM. The idea that this is the approach adults with authority are taking in the workplace goes against pretty much all we know about what good managers do. These aren’t 21-year-old college bartenders, they are leaders whose actions impact the rest of their team and the organizational culture. There is so much research on how to motivate employees and what to do when employees aren’t meeting expectations. There is also a ton of information on how to give feedback that is clear and constructive (even to people who are reactive). I think the people doing the quiet firing may also be missing the HUMAN aspects of their employees. If their performance started slipping all of a sudden what triggered it? Are they ok? Are they struggling with issues outside of work? Great leaders care and ask questions founded in empathy and psychological safety.

If you have tried all of these things with an employee who just isn’t cutting it and nothing changes then it’s time to let them go. You will need to actually tell them this or have HR do it for you. I realize firing people can be exceptionally difficult emotionally, and in some states practically, but there are ways to do it that are humane. Don’t be a quiet fire-er or a quiet quitter be a leader and remember that leadership is an action not a position (that’s a quote from Donald H. McGannon, I didn’t come up with that gem). I hope the next quiet trend to emerge is quiet eating because the sound of other people chewing makes me crazy (#Misophonia). 

*Yes, I was a jackass back then. Also, social media didn’t exist so it was much easier to be a shady lady.

**Once the guy I quiet fired came into the bar and sat next to the guy I started dating instead. NEXT TO HIM. That was not a great shift.

Loud working

My friends and I have been texting about quiet quitting a lot and, per my earlier blog post, we all think it’s dumb. In one of our threads, my amazing friend and colleague Dr. Justine Farrell said, “what about loud working?” This is a truly inspired turn of phrase. What is loud working you ask? Well, (according to my smart lady text thread) it’s when people need everyone to know that they are working. That they are BUSY. We all know these people (we sometimes are these people). No matter what the situation they fill you in on all of the very important things they are doing even when you did not ask. They will spend 20 minutes doing something that could have been done in 5 just to make a point that they “add value” and they are often energy vampires.* From what I can tell, there are two types of loud workers:

1. The ones who talk about how busy they are but a lot of the work is self-created busy work that isn’t important or useful

2. The ones who talk about how busy they are but are actually barely fulfilling their duties and/or doing a whole lot of nothing

I’m not sure which is worse but both of them drive me bonkers. I wish this didn’t annoy me so much but it does and I think it’s because WE ARE ALL BUSY. Just because we aren't bragging about our overloaded calendars, looming deadlines, or jammed inbox doesn't somehow make us less busy. Research shows that some people have an inherent need to be busy (or at least say they are) because busy = important and busy = valuable to the organization. But really, busy is generally a facade.

Maybe it’s not their fault. Maybe they are just not organized or lack time management skills. Studies show that some people are simply more efficient with their time which leads to increased productivity. No matter what the cause, it turns out always telling people how busy you are is potentially harmful to your career and can impact opportunities for you at work. This need to be busy is also bad for your physical and mental well-being. If you're reading this and you are or know a loud worker here are some things to say instead and some suggestions for how to stop. 

I’m going to try and be less annoyed with loud workers because it’s not a business competition and if it is I am not interested in winning. I want to do my job (well) and have the opportunity to spend time not doing my job and that’s ok. In fact it’s healthy and makes me MORE productive. So take note loud workers! Spend less time telling everyone how busy you are and more time doing the actual work. You’ll feel more accomplished, you may improve your standing at work, and your colleagues won’t feel drained or angsty after every interaction. Everyone wins!

*Please watch this if you aren’t familiar with energy vampires and their powers. And if you love absurdity I highly recommend What We Do in the Shadows. Vampires + Staten Island? Yes, please.